Going through a divorce with kids isn’t anything a parent wants to have to go through. The disappointment of having to admit to your children that your relationship and family will no longer be the same can be a lot to handle.
Many parents wait as long as possible to tell their kids they’re getting divorced out of fear that they won’t be able to handle it emotionally. However, what many parents don’t realize is that kids are incredibly resilient. Telling them sooner than later calmly and straightforwardly is proven to be the least emotionally harmful.
Once you’ve broken the news, here are the best tips for making it through the rest of the process.
Try Working With a Mediator
If things are tense surround the subject of your separation, then you may want to consider turning to an outside source, like a mediator. A mediator is there to give everyone a space on the platform to be able to share their point of view.
Sometimes when emotions are high like times during divorce, it can be challenging to communicate effectively without your feelings getting the best of you.
A mediator will make sure that everyone’s voice is heard and assist the family in arriving at a solution that works for everyone.
Get a Good Lawyer
Although you may have financial restrictions, it’s crucial to find a good lawyer. Hiring someone incompetent just because of their low price will only lead to disappointment.
Often separated spouses opt for a less than ideal lawyer think that they won’t need a shark since things have been amicable so far. However, you never know when you can disagree on the divorce terms. Things can take a quick turn for the worst when you least expect it. It’s best to know that you have someone on your side who knows what they’re doing.
Don’t Date Too Quickly
Although you may be anxious to dive back into the dating pool and find the love of your life since you’ve experienced such disappointment, moving too quickly is a mistake. Your kids will have a better adjustment period with someone who is introduced gradually into the family dynamic.
Even though you may feel fine, there are often all sorts of lingering emotions underneath which you may not realize are there yet.
Give yourself time to adjust and process the divorce before diving into a new relationship.
Don’t Bad Mouth The Other Parent
Even though things may be hard for you, and you have a lot of anger inside surrounding the breakup, it’s important not to badmouth the other parent to the kids.
When you talk badly about the other parent, it can make the kids feel like they have to choose sides, which isn’t in their best interest long term.