If there ever were a trigger for uncomfortable emotions, it’s divorce. The breakdown of the marriage you thought would last a lifetime will be an inevitable source of immense distress. While some find that anxiety and depression dominate their thoughts during the difficult process of divorce, others struggle with a sense of detachment, despair, or immense loneliness. There is no wrong way to experience a divorce in terms of your emotional reaction, but there are things you can do to make it easier to cope day-to-day. Follow these tips to help care for yourself properly through this difficult time.
- Get legal support. Proper legal representation is essential during divorce, and a caring lawyer who is willing to represent your needs effectively and efficiently will make all the difference to your peace of mind. While they may not be able to bring you pints of ice cream and put on your favourite movies, a good lawyer will be able to shoulder the legal burden of the divorce for you, freeing you up to care for your emotions without stressing about the legalities. There are divorce lawyers melbourne who will take the stress on in your place, giving you the chance to grieve in your own time.
- Allow yourself to mourn the loss of your marriage. Supressing your feelings and denying that the divorce is having any impact on you may be an effective coping mechanism in the short-term, but it will only lead to more difficulties in the long run. Accept that divorce is painful, and give yourself the time you need to grieve. Try not to fight the emotions as they come, but accept them and do what you can to cope in healthy ways.
- Find someone to talk to. The best way to cope with hard emotions is to spill your emotions out to someone else. Talking with a supportive friend or family member will help you sort through your thoughts and feelings, and give them the opportunity to offer advice, or just a caring presence to comfort you. If you feel that your feelings are too complex or challenging for friends to handle, don’t be afraid to seek out professional help from a psychologist or counsellor. They’re trained to help you work through problems, so let them support you in yours.
- Start making lists. The stress that comes with a family divorce can make even small tasks feel overwhelming and unmanageable. Breaking your day up into smaller chunks will help you get started, and clear to-do lists allow you to prioritise chores and tasks and keep your mind organised. It may seem like a small and meaningless tool, but a simple list can help you feel more in control of the day to come.
- Let go of the past. Perhaps the most challenging aspect of any divorce comes in saying goodbye to your marriage, including the physical reminders left in your home of that person. It’s important to clear your space of these remnants of the past in order to properly move on, but this process can take time. Gradually allow yourself to remove photographs, momentos, and other sentimental items from your personal space, even if that just means putting them in a box in storage. Focus on creating your own space, and moving forward into a new, independent life.